Just Write

Hmmm...yep, looks like another hiatus! Just wanted to check in and let you all know that I really am coming back to writing! We've just been in birthday overdrive here for Eli's 4th today! So, now that things are about to settle back into normal (whatever that is), you can expect to see a little more around here! Just not tonight. :)

...depending on how you look at it. Yes, it happened, I dropped the ball on my writing project and took a five day hiatus. The funny thing is that I was quite surprised when I looked at the calendar and saw that it had only been five days. It feels like I haven't written in at least a week and half. Day 1 of my sebatacle found me enjoying a sunny afternoon in the backyard with my kids...notebook and pen in hand. I began writing, but after less than a paragraph stopped and thought, "I don't want to write." This thought wasn't qualified with a right now ; it felt more like an ever . This lead to four days of reevaluating. Why am I writing? What do I want to write? Do I really want to write? I really want to edit. I want to be a copy-editor. I really don't want to write my own stuff, I want to edit other peoples' stuff. And so on and so forth. About a week ago I finished reading A Million Miles for a Thousand Years by Donald Miller. Great read, by the way. ...

Once again, up too late! Ugh...what am I going to do with myself? I simply must become more disciplined in getting myself to bed at a reasonable hour...especially considering that sweet Abby has awoken at 4 a.m. the last two days! Oh, what am I doing?? On a happier note, today was actually a great day, especially considering my darling little alarm clock! Why so great, you ask? My Bible study! I am truly awe-struck by what a remarkable difference it is making in my life to start each day with the Lord! Hallelujah! Well, that's it for tonight...but I am excited to say that I have a few irons in the fire that I'll be sharing with you soon! And thank you for the prayers last night; they helped! Today's Haiku... I should be sleeping I'll regret this tomorrow I regret it now! Irons in the fire Excited to be writing What doors will open?

I've been convicted to delete my original posting for today. Based on the title, you can imagine why. In lieu of my "gumblings" I'm choosing to post something that I didn't write myself (the credit goes to Russell Kelfer), but feel the need tonight to ponder... You are who you are for a reason. You're part of an intricate plan. You're a precious and perfect unique design, Called God's special woman or man. You look like you look for a reason. Our God made no mistake. He knit you together within the womb. You're just what He wanted to make. The parents you had were the ones He chose, And no matter how you may feel, They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind, And they bear the Master's seal. No, that trauma you faced was not easy. And God wept that it hurt you so; But it was allowed to shape your heart So that into His likeness you'd grow. You are who you are for a reason, You've been formed by the Master's rod. You are who...

Loving what I live Each day is immensely blessed My God is so good Power in the morn I'm so grateful for His word The Lord uplifts me Sunlight lifts my soul Enlightens every moment Makes my life brighter Creative genius The flowers are poetic The Lord writes nature What shall I compose? I know not my direction Where will my pen lead? Challenge me, people! I just don't know what to write! Haiku's not my gift! Writing every day What gifts might I discover? On goes the challenge!

A few days ago I had an epiphany: writing is not the most important thing I do each day. Though you wouldn't know it from the quality of my writing, I have been placing this blog too high on my list of priorities. Though I often put it off to the day's very end, I do make sure it gets done. Even if it's only a few moments or a few words, I make absolutely certain that I write something on this blog every day. And while my project is indeed a healthy pursuit, it's position in my set of priorities is not. Writing is not the thing I need to make absolutely certain I do each day. That level of importance should be assigned first to my time with my Lord. Four weeks ago I began a wonderful new Bible study through Women's Ministries at my old church. It's the type of study wherein I meet weekly with a group of women (the same group each week); during the meeting there is time for discussion, instruction, and a video lesson from a renowned Bible teacher (remember me ra...

My son is the master procrastinator, especially when it comes to bedtime. When I have the energy and conviction, I put forth great effort to keep him moving in the direction of bed. Tonight, however, the engergy was lacking and I sent him to the bathroom to go potty and brush his teeth by himself. These are two tasks at which he is quite proficient, but twenty minutes later I finally went in after him. How much had he accomplished? He was washing his hands. He had neither brushed his teeth, nor used the toilet. I have no idea what he spent those twenty minutes doing. Nothing was destroyed, disheveled, or dirty...but neither was anything done. So, round and round we went with the reminders and the why's and the prodding and the stories and finally achieving the goal...or goals; I suppose when all was said and done both of us had achieved our goals: mine of getting Eli to bed, and his of drawing out the process as long as humanly possible. By the time he was climbing into bed I was f...

The letter of the day at preschool on Friday was Y. On the way home from school Eli and I had our own little "Who's on first" routine. "Mama, does why start with Y?" "No, but it does end with Y." "Why does why end with Y?" It's not often I find his "why" questions that amuzing!

What would you do if you knew you wouldn't fail? I suppose I would pursue my writing with an enthusiasm closer to reckless abandon; I would submit manuscripts to publishers, enter contests, and allow more people to read my writing (and by "my writing" I don't mean this blog, but instead things like my poetry and my children's book). I get bogged down (read: procrastinate) by doing research about just how to do these things and never actually do them. I would take initiative with friends and make more phone calls. I tend to communicate with people less and spend less time with friends than I'd like because I'm always afraid to call or ask. For me, there's vulnerability in dialing the phone. It's too personal, too risky. I get stuck in a trap of negative self-talk, believing that if someone really wanted to spend time with me, they'd have taken the initiative already. I would pray more fervently. I realized just this morning that there are things...

This is going to be short and sweet since it's 11:20 p.m. and I am exhausted and have a busy morning tomorrow! I just visited the handy Imagination Prompt Generator, and once again it gave me just the perfect prompt. Perfect in that it requires very little time and effort to answer. My apologies to all of you for the lack of engaging writing tonight! Today's prompt: Did you go to college or have vocational training - where and when? After graduating from high school in 1996, I attended Santa Rosa Junior College for two years, majoring in Theater (there's a fun fact that you probably didn't know!). I dreamed of a career in acting, and loved the theather department there. In 1998 I transferred to Pepperdine University. Before enrolling in a single theater course there, I changed my major to Public Relations because I was intimidated by all of the Theater students who seemed infinitely more talented than I, and many of whom already had a foot in the door (doing commercial...

I'm as excited today as I was on Day 1! Excited to take this project to a new level. Excited about my new readers. Excited about opening myself up and taking a leap. Definitely excited about writing! My first order of business today is reversing a decision I made just days ago. At the suggestion of one of my lovely new readers, I'm doing away with my family of acronyms. My friend mentioned that the first time she saw the acronyms I've been using, they were referencing the writer's "damn husband," and so on. I certainly never want my acronyms to be mistaken as such! It also occurred to me while thinking of ways to engage an audience that anonymity isn't engaging. Real people with real stories are engaging, and so I'd like to re-introduce you to my dear husband, Ryan, my dear son, Eli, and my dear daughter, Abigail. They'll likely be present here quite often, and I believe they'll be much more engaging by name! I love them each dearly, and would ...

Though I am glad to be writing again, I am disappointed with what I'm writing. I've not written many posts of substance on this blog. My writing thus far (with a few exceptions) has lacked focus, direction, purpose (other than just putting something on the page), and passion. Passion is what prompted tonight's post...specifically one woman's passion in using her gift. That woman is Crystal Bowersox. I am embarassed to admit that I've become a watcher of American Idol . I place all of the blame for this (in good humor, of course) on a good friend of mine who loves the show and implored me, many times, to watch. Early in the season I watched an episode of auditions, and the one thing I liked about it was hearing people's stories before they sang; I was specifically impacted by Crystal Bowersox. Crystal is a 24 year old single mom from Chicago who is gifted with (among other things) a remarkable voice. She is blessed with natural, raw talent - but she has another ...

Alas, here it is 10:00, I'm completely and utterly exhausted, and I haven't written yet today. Needless to say, this is likely to be short and anything but profound! Today was a wonderful day; DD's first birthday. She is such a special girl, and such an amazing blessing to our family. DS told us at dinner tonight that he didn't like our family before his sister was born, but he really likes it now! He is really a funny boy. I was thinking that tonight would be a good night to just make a list of writing prompts for later posts...this could serve both as my writing for today as well as a help me with future "I don't know what to write" posts, but I don't think I have even enough brain power to simply list ideas! I do have one idea that has been bobbling around in my brain for a few days; at some point I plan to write about the sad state of our food today. Since becoming a parent, I've become more and more concious of what I'm putting into my bod...

In honor of my sweet baby girl turning one tomorrow, I decided that writing down her birth story was long overdue! On Friday night, April 24th 2009, DH joined the guys from our small group for an overnight guys’ retreat of sorts. Three of the couples in our group were expecting babies within the next three months, including us. Our baby girl was due May 3rd, and I had told DH I’d like him to do something like this with the guys before she arrived, because it was likely going to be a long time before I would want him to do it again! I was a little nervous about him being gone overnight so close to my due date, but the house where he would stay was just an 8 minute drive from ours. With his promise to keep his phone on and near him, and several of the other guys’ phone numbers programmed into my phone, I agreed. That night as I lay on the couch watching a chick flick that would have been torture for my dear husband, I began having contractions. They were mild and far apart, so I wasn’t w...

Aaaahhhhh...the party was a success! So excited that everything turned out well and DD had a great time at her first birthday party! We ended up with far fewer guests than we expected, but it worked out well. Just the right size, really. DD seemed like such a big girl today; all dressed up in her pretty party dress and walking all over the place. She's been taking steps for a couple of weeks now, but something just clicked and today was really the day she officially became a walker . I can't believe how quickly her first year has gone by. She seems older than DS did at his first birthday. It's likely the whole second child thing; she has a big brother to keep up with, so she's walking, talking, and playing more than he did at 12 months. I am blessed with two truly amazing children. I am blessed in many ways! I'm going to treat myself to a little time off from writing tonight since I'm incredibly tired and looking forward to a relaxing evening on the couch... wit...

I did something last night that I haven't done in a long time; I started writing today's piece in my head while I lay in the dark trying in vain to sleep. Despite my physical exhaustion, my mind just wasn't ready to slow down. So I did what any dedicated writer does; I got up, grabbed a pen and notebook, and got to work! It made me feel like a writer again. It's a good feeling. I got to thinking about yesterday's fluff piece and wished I'd written about a thing I was struck by on Facebook yesterday. Before I go any further with that, I must digress for a moment and write about Facebook briefly. I avoided FB for a long time, mainly because I didn't want it to become (yet another) time sucker. I eventually joined, but first made some rules for myself. First, I would not become FB friends with anyone with whom I wasn't "real life" friends...this meant not even acquaintances, old classmates, etc. I would only become FB friends with those people wi...

Okay, today we begin with a bit of housekeeping... First off, ten hours of sleep definitely helped. Still sick today, but far more functional than yesterday and was able to get a few things crossed off the "to do" list (largely thanks to my kids' wonderful Nana who took them both to the park this afternoon). Second, for the sake of anonymity should this blog ever actually accrue an audience (I can hardly imagine how that would happen, but just in case), from this point on I'll often refer to my dear family using the generic abbreviations of DH for dear husband, DS for dear son, and DD for dear daughter. Up to this point I've tried to refer to them more articulately while maintaining anonymity, but for the sake of writing flow I'm going to resort to those abbreviations. I'll likely also be using said abbreviations for other dear family members (i.e., DMIL, DFIL, etc.) leaving readers (all two of you) to your own devices for decoding. :) And now to the writi...

Okay, so I know it looks like I didn't write yesterday, but I did!! I was feeling crummy all day yesterday and at 8 p.m. I took some cold medicine and headed to bed. Just as I was reaching up to turn off my bedside lamp, I remembered that I hadn't written. Fortunately I had a notebook stashed in my nightstand so I didn't have to get up and head for the computer. Without further ado, here's yesterday's writing: I'm in bed already, but I didn't write today. Under the circumstances, a few sentences scrawled in a notebook from my nightstand will have to suffice. I felt crummy all day - really crummy. What was just an annoying case of the sniffles yesterday manifest itself into a full-blown head cold today. It still wouldn't be all that bad if it weren't for the intense sinus pain and pressure. My dear husband stayed home today so that I could sleep whenvever the baby slept, and that was a big help. Also a big help (I hope) is the fact that I'm in bed...

Pretty good day today, despite an annoying cold. I've been sneezing and sniffling all day and can't be more than an arm's length from a box of tissues. I'm not really feeling bad as far as "sick" goes, but it is annoying! Great, GREAT Bible study this morning. Really impactful. Priscilla Shirer helped me realize that I haven't been taking God's power very seriously. That's huge. That's a huge problem. Shirer is an incredibly dynamic, captivating Bible teacher who really tells it like it is - which I really needed today. I used to consider myself something of a prayer warrior; I believed I had the gift of intercession. And while I still believe strongly in the importance of prayer, I think somewhere along the way I lost sight of the power of prayer - or more acurately, the power of God that is mobilized when His people pray. A couple of the highlights of this morning's study: The annointing (every believer is annointed by God) not only gua...

Well, I better sit down and write before it gets too late. I feel a cold coming on and cannot afford to be slowed down this week, so I need to write now and get to bed early. I really don't know what to write about today since I exhausted the topic of party planning yesterday and that is exactly what my whole day has been. My wonderful parents-in-law (though I prefer the Dobson term "parents-in-love" for them) babysat this afternoon so that I could run all of my last-minute birthday errands. I hit seven stores in two and a half hours today! With kids in tow, the same errands would have taken me a week, not to mention all of the undue stress on both myself and my kiddos. Anyway, everything I need for dear daughter's party on Saturday is physically in my posession at this point, and now I'm basically in assembly mode. My to-do list is still two miles long, but now it's mostly just fun stuff (I say "mostly" only because I need to clean my house thorough...

First, a pat on the back for remembering to write before 10:30 p.m.! Now, what to write about today? Party planning! I am in the last week of planning and preparing for my dear daughter's first birthday bash, followed in just three short weeks by my dear son's fourth. I am definitely in party-planning overdrive. I have two friends whose children's birthdays are within a week of each other, and I simply don't know how they do it! I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off with three weeks between the two, and these two moms have less than a week of lag time. Part of the problem is my perfectionist, type-A personality. If only I could be satisfied with an average (or even good) party, life would be a lot simpler. But alas, I must strive to throw two great parties! At least I can honestly say that my drive to make both of these parties truly wonderful is motivated fully by my love for my precious children, and not by any need to impress the party guests (read...

Yikes...on my way to bed and realized I forgot to write today! I should have known that there would inevitably be days when something would prevent me from writing. Whether it be a way-too-busy day, an impromptu date with my wonderful husband (how does that happen?), or sheer forgetfulness - all of which are true of today! And so, here I sit at 10:37 in front of my computer, longing for my pillow but comitted to my writing. As tired as I am, it feels really good to be fulfilling my commitment to mysef to write every day...even if it is about nothing at all, as this post most certainly is! We had a wonderful date tonight. A new restaurant in a nearby city held a pre-opening fundraiser tonight and we really enjoyed it. $10 at the door included an all-you-can eat buffet and one alcoholic beverage. Non-alcoholic beverages were complimentary. The food was excellent, and it was really nice to be able to try out all of the different menu offerings in small portions. Also included was one of m...

I have to admit that the only reason I'm actually writing right now is that I'm out of eggs. I had every intention of spending this time making snickerdoodles. Real snickerdoodles, with lots of butter and sugar...Most of my baking involves modifying recipes to make them healthier; substituting whole wheat flour for white, cutting the amount of sugar, replacing oil with unsweetened applesauce, and so on. Tonight, however, I was going to splurge and make genuine, bad-for-you-but-oh-so-good snickerdoodles. Sadly, I'm out of eggs. Of course, in the grand scheme of things it's a blessing that I'm out of eggs. All of that yummy butter and sugar would have gone straight to my middle and clung to me for who knows how long... and I had completely forgotten about writing today. So, here I am with nothing to write about but snickerdoodles (or lack thereof), but again, at least I'm writing ! I'm in a wonderful, even inspring, writing environment right now. Kids in bed,...

Writing prompts are fragments of ideas that writers jot down for later. A prompt may be a word, the first few lines of a story, a discussion question...anything that the writer doesn't have time or engergy (or perhaps desire) to write about when the idea pops into her head. We write them down with every intention of returning to them and expounding upon them to create something beautiful and meaningful. From the time I got out of bed this morning I have been thinking about what I might write today. By mid-afternoon I had had close to a dozen ideas floating about in my head, and every intention of making today's blog post a list of writing prompts that I could use in place of "I don't know what to write today. I don't know what to write today, I don't know what to write today..." in future posts. And yet, here I sit, with finally a few free moments to sit down at the computer, and I cannot recall a single thing I wanted to write down. Oh, the fr...

Once upon a time I was a writer. Or, at least I aspired to be a writer. Okay, I still aspire to be a writer. There’s just one problem: writers write. I used to write all the time. Constantly. I’d fill notebooks upon notebooks with poetry and prayers, ideas and inspirations, hopes, fears, dreams, tears…and everything in between. It didn’t matter what I was writing, it only mattered that I was writing. Therein lies the challenge of being a writer…most people think beautiful ideas expressed in beautiful words just flow freely from a writer’s mind. While there are times at which that is true, more often than not it is discipline that fills pages. In college I had an enlightened professor who assigned The Artist’s Way as one of our required texts. The Artist’s Way is a brilliant book aimed at helping the created (all of us) create. One aspect of the book was an exercise called Morning Pages. Every morning, before getting bogged down with anything else that your day might hold, you open...